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Random Thought: Toilet Seats

As Stephen Colbert said in his ever so serious audio book I Am America (And So Can You!), he keeps talking even after the mic goes off in every one of his shows. These precious opinions – I mean facts – are just wasted. Well I have many of those moments when I randomly talks to myself and ponder on the mysteries of life. They have been wasted… but no more!

I woke up today at 4PM to the wailing of Jessy. Unconsciously, I turned on my laptop, and walked over to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and proceeded to sit on the circular object known as the toilet seat. Still being loopy from the night before, I rested my head on my legs to steal some more sleep time. Before I know it, about ten minutes passed by. My stomach started to hurt so I sat upright to obey the law of physics and gravity, if you know what I mean. Another ten minutes passed by. My legs started to get sore extremely fast. I couldn’t do much but increase pressure in areas of my body. I desperately needed a better seat!

Here’s my real concern: does anyone else get trapped in situations like that? You know you can’t get up due to sore legs and you know you can’t move around due to obvious reasons.

The solution? A better, more comfortable toilet seat! Maybe one made with gel or something squishy will help. I urge the smart inventors out there to mass manufacture these in large quantities to save the other poor souls who suffered through this traumatic experience.

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